Sleep Training, Round 2, Night ???

Hadley got sick at the end of sleep training. First it was the throw up, then she had some fever, then it was really bad nasal congestion. So we're back at square one. I'm going to redo the whole thing after another night or two when I'm sure she's completely well again. I am a much more pleasant person when I have sleep!

Sleep Training, Round 2, Night 9

I went in the hallway last night. This is how long it took:

Happy mama! But then she cried at 9pm-ish. I started to just let her cry and see if she'd go back to sleep, but I wanted to maintain her trust so decided I'd open her door again and get back in the hallway. As soon as I opened the door I smelled throw-up. Poor baby. It's hard to sleep well when you're covered in vomit. :(

I had to give her another bath because it was everywhere. I was scared it was a virus, but she had no other symptoms and had tried a new baby food earlier (and a lot of it). She still slept fine all night and kept down her bottle at 5am, so she went to school. I hope that doesn't make me a bad mama, but she hasn't done it again so it must have just been the food.

Hoping for another successful night, one in which I just walk out and she goes to sleep! After that happens I will stop with all the sleep training posts. You're welcome :)

Sleep Training, Round 2, Night 8

Well, I ended up going in the hallway last night even though Collins was awake in the living room. He was watching Up so he was quietly entertained.

Hadley didn't love that I wasn't in her room. She fussed about 10-15 minutes, but never cried hard. I put her to bed earlier (after reading more info on sleeplady.com) and she slept longer! She went to bed at 7:30pm and woke up at 6:00am, as opposed to 5 or 5:30am.

A night or two more of hallway-ness, then I'm supposed to be able to just close the door and she'll fall asleep on her own!

Sleep Training, Round 2, Night 7

Ahh...sleep. Such a beautiful thing.

Last night was another great one. After the bedtime routine (read a book, tell the lamp/window/etc. night-night, sing a song, rock a tiny bit), I put Hadley in her bed and went across the room. She took about 20 minutes again, but I don't think it was necessary that I stayed in the room. She stood up some, played with her fish thing, talked a little...still no crying. She slept till 5:30am!

I think tonight I'm going to try just walking out and closing the door. I'm a little nervous about that because the book says the next step is to leave the door open and move into the hallway. I just don't know how I can do that with her brother in the living room blaring away. He'll be quiet for a while, then just all of a sudden let out a roar. Literally. He's a tiger, you know. So we shall see.

God bless the Sleep Lady! (and Dr. Loftin and the inventor of ear tubes)

http://sleeplady.com/  

Sleep Training, Round 2, Night 6

Wooo Hooo!!!!!

Hadley slept all night again last night! She took less than 20 minutes to fall asleep and did so with NO crying!

I laid down at the opposite end of the room, but I don't even think she noticed. She didn't really look at me at all, just talked and moved a little and went right to sleep.

Whew! We're getting there! 

Sleep Training, Round 2, Nights 4 and 5

Okay, I think we're making progress. On Friday night, Hadley cried/fussed (not too badly) for about an hour, then slept all night! Oh, what a glorious feeling.

Last night she only fussed/stood up/etc. (no crying at all) for 45 minutes, which was a huge improvement; but then woke up at 12:30am and cried pretty hard for about 30 minutes or longer. I didn't rock or feed her though, and she finally put herself back to sleep and slept till 6:30am.

So, I guess we're making progress? I think tonight I'll go to the other side of the room instead of lying right next to her. I think that's the instructions from the book (Good Night, Sleep Tight), but I honestly haven't even revisited the book. Maybe I should do that...

Sleep Training, Round 2

Hadley, Hadley, Hadley. Ohhhhh Hadley. Sweetest baby girl. Except at night time.

On Monday we went for her post-op visit and learned that her ears are in perfect shape! I have been delaying really sleep training her for fear she was still hurting and that's why she was awake during the night. She also has two new front teeth that I'm sure were/are playing a part in her wakefulness.

On Tuesday night of this week, she slept all night long without a peep! People keep asking if I woke up all during the night worried about her. Umm...no. I don't wake up during the night unless someone wakes me up. Ever.

She was even easy to go down initially that night. Jake tried to rock her, but she was so squirmy he just put her down and she went right to sleep. Bliss!

Wednesday night wasn't as good, but not bad either. She again went to sleep easy as pie, but woke up around 12am or so. I went in and sat next to her crib and said "Shhhh...lay down...go night, night" a hundred times. She took probably 20 minutes to soothe herself back to sleep. Not bad.

Last night was way worse. I thought I remembered the nights getting easier, not worse. She went to sleep easily, but then woke up less than an hour later for some reason. I wasn't finished putting Collins to bed yet, but went in her room anyway because I didn't think it would take long. I sat in the chair at first, then decided to lie down on the floor and pretend to be asleep. She didn't cry too badly, but stood up, looked around, tried to knock the fish mobile thingy down, chewed on the crib, etc. for about an hour. She finally went to sleep and I thought maybe we were making progress.

Until 12:30am-ish (I always lose track of time). She woke up again. I went in again. I sat in the chair, then got on the floor. I forgot my ear plugs. Big mistake. The child sounds like this when she cries:

 I don't know how long it went on. Seems like an hour maybe. Jake made a bottle and stuck his arm in the room to offer it to me. I was adamant about not feeding her; she doesn't need to eat during the night. But then it went on a little longer and I got desperate, plus I was very aware that Jake was probably going crazy and Grammy was in the living room trying to sleep, probably going crazy as well. So I gave her some of the bottle, which she didn't even want, then held her and rocked her, which she did want. She had her paci in her mouth, smiling as she drifted off to sleep. Like she had won!

I was literally in tears because I was cold and sleepy and frustrated and hopeless. Why is this child not sleeping? I know she's capable. I know she's well. I know she's sleepy.

I have to keep reminding myself this is not a cruel thing to do; I'm right beside her, and it is teaching her an important life skill. She is just mad, not neglected. Your thinking becomes clouded in the middle of the night when someone is yelling at you!

We'll get there, eventually. I'm going to keep on doing what I did with Collins and we'll just have to listen to her little Stitch self cry. And I won't forget ear plugs anymore.

Sleep Issues

You may remember that I blogged...extensively...about sleep training Collins when he was around 10 months old. I read the book, Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West, loved it, it worked, loved it even more.

I actually thought I had sleep trained him forever. Like, I thought we would no longer have any problems. And I was right for about two years.

All of a sudden, Collins is back to fighting us at bed time. I do not understand. Who would want to prolong going to bed? I look forward to sleeping as soon as I wake up. Apparently, all three year olds do this mess. I have talked to friends, read blogs, read books, etc. I guess that should make me feel better, and it does a little. But Jake and I are worn. out.

Last night it took an hour and a half to get Collins in bed. We did our normal routine of reading three books (he usually picks out the longs ones; I paraphrase those), going to the bathroom one more time, telling Daddy goodnight one more time, letting him turn on his nightlight and sound machine, letting him turn off his lamp, telling him stories (he now requests "new ones" so I can't tell the same one over again unless it's a really good one), saying our prayers, and discussing how he will get a spanking (or we're not coming back in or something) if he calls out/cries/says "one more time," etc. I guess I didn't learn my lesson well enough the first time that consistency is key. We pretty much always give in because we simply give up.

He screamed last night...that was a first. Usually he cries and talks. But last night he was screaming and even came out of his room a couple of times. (He could barely talk this morning.) He got a spanking for not minding. I hate when he gets spankings at bed time. I still ended up giving him another hug and Jake still had to lay with him. Even though I laid with him for an hour before that.

According to everyone I talk to, this is normal behavior and we aren't necessarily doing everything wrong. But I am 38 weeks pregnant and he is just now starting to regress regarding sleep. Is he mad at us or something?! (ha)

Mary Loyd said the director of their day care center in Atlanta was very well-respected in the field as a researcher/practitioner/etc. That woman's school of thought was that the half year made a big difference related to improvements in behavior. Like, 1.5 was a lot better than 1, 2.5 was better than 2, etc. I have not heard that before, but cannot disagree. If we can make it to March maybe Collins will be back to self soothing for better/quicker sleep!

He still sleeps well once he actually falls asleep. We wake him up at 6am on weekdays and he wakes up on his own around 7 or so on weekends. Still napping well for now. I suppose that will change this weekend. Hope not.

I guess I need to employ Kim West's toddler tips and do the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" again. I just know it will be much harder now that he's not trapped in a crib!

It's possible that Collins knows it's getting closer to Hadley time. Plus, there's the new room at preschool. He is doing well in there after drop-off, but cries in the mornings regardless of if it's Jake or me dropping him off. He does better for Jake, but not great.

Yesterday Jake took him to school and I picked him up. As soon as he saw me he burst into tears and said, "I want Daddy to pick me up!" Not only that...I've dealt with that before...but he also stomped his foot several times, gave me the mean eye, and pushed me. In front of all the afternoon teachers who do not have children and who probably plan never to spank their own kids. I popped him on the thigh and they probably think I'm awful. Whatever. Then I cried when we got in the car because I am hormonal and started thinking that the last few weeks of him as an only child will be stressful and unpleasant. I supposed that's Satan toying with my joy!

I hold true to my opinion that Collins is a sweet, caring, smart child. I am happy he behaves well at school, church, and any other time we're not around. He even minds well a lot of the times when it's just us three. Just want to document that he is, in fact, approaching this Three stage that everyone has warned us about, and he seems to be serious about it. I pray we'll be able to tolerate and guide him through this stage even while we're sleep deprived and running on fumes.

It's a season...I have to keep remembering that. And it will go by quickly. That part I've already learned.

Night 10-Sleep Training

Last blog about sleep training! Yay!! :)

Well, except for the occasional update maybe.

I totally expected Collins to cry last night when I put him in his crib, kissed him and Sugarplum, and walked out, shut the door.

Not a peep.

Slept all night long. Wait...I do recall a cry somewhere around 1am. But I never even got out of bed. He just went back to sleep on his own.

Thank you, Lord, for letting me be strong enough to do this and teach my baby to sleep! It has been wonderful. Thank you, friends and family, for the prayers. I am in awe.

Who would have ever thought I'd blog so much about sleep? Then again, I have ALWAYS been a huge fan of sleeping. :)

Night 9-Sleep Training

Almost done with the sleep training posts, I promise.

Last night Jake put Collins to bed. No crying or fussing, but just wiggling for about 10 minutes or so. Jake was in the hallway.

Tonight is when we're supposed to put Collins in the crib and just walk out...no lingering to be in his sight. I expect him to cry (maybe more than usual?) some since he always does the first night of the new position. The book says to expect that, but not to be alarmed. The author says he's had almost two weeks to prepare for this and that he can handle it. So far, she's been right on everything!

I am so thankful this has worked. It's such a relief not to dread night time because you don't know what to expect. We can tell Collins is happier, too. It's like he was so ready for us to do this already!

Night 8-Sleep Training

I got in the hallway again last night while Collins fell asleep. He didn't fuss much, but did take about 15-20 minutes to finally settle down and go to sleep. He tossed out paci once and I thought Sugarplum was gonna take a nose dive, but he spared her. He kept standing up, sitting down. Over and over. But once he was asleep...he slept all night long. We woke him up this morning just before 7am.

Mrs.Wilda is going to try this technique on him today for his naps. We did it for naps all weekend (worked all but one time) and he even put himself to sleep for her once last week without them even trying. I took his sound machine to her house today to see if that helps any. I think it definitely blocks some of the household noises, especially when other kids are there. I just really, really hope I remember to get it back this afternoon! Jake and I are probably more addicted to it than Collins is!

Nights 6 and 7-Sleep Training

Night 6 was pretty uneventful. Collins fussed a little more than the nights just before, but still fell asleep pretty easily and stayed asleep. I think part of the problem was a slightly earlier bed time. We're still practicing being dedicated to the schedule. We started the routine earlier and got all off track! haha

Last night was Night 7, the first night to move into the hallway. It took him probably 10-15 minutes of fussing, squirming, etc. to lie down and get quiet. Once I tried to peep at him because I thought he was asleep, but I saw his little fingers going, playing with Sugarplum. So I hit the floor again before he could catch me!

About this Sugarplum character. I don't think I've mentioned her before. We tried to make a Lion his lovey, but it just didn't take. I don't blame him...it was kind of obnoxious. So on Night 1 Jake suggested Sugarplum. I didn't think it would work and was prepared to go out and buy the softest lovey on the market. One look at 'Plum' and Collins giggled and smiled the hugest smile!

Jake bought Plum for me when we were dating, and I think still in high school. We were in Books A Million and I thought she was cute. We got out to the truck and he had somehow bought her without me knowing. It was sweet, but now I realize just how sweet! Plum to the rescue!!

Anyway, back to last night. Collins woke up at 10 ish, so I went back to the hallway. I thought I was going to have to change him or something. It's times like that when I doubt myself. I had picked him up (just over the bed), calmed him (he was totally fine, but wet...with a night time diaper on), put him down, and he cried about 15 minutes. Maybe longer, I don't know. But that's when I start wondering: Should I change him? Are his teeth hurting? Maybe he needs Tylenol. Did he have a bad dream?

With Jake's clarity, I just let it go and waited it out. It worked.

Collins was talking at 5am, but I remembered reading in the book about "early risers" (children who wake up prior to 6am). Kim suggests not going in until 6, or if you do, trying to get them to sleep until 6. If it doesn't work, you leave the room for two minutes, then come back in like nothing ever happened and do your dramatic good morning routine. It gives the message, "I'm getting you because it's morning, not because you were crying." I guess that sounds harsh, but so far I love everything this woman says/does/makes happen! I didn't have to go in there, we just let him 'talk it out.' He's still asleep now and it's 6:30am.

Promise to quit giving so many detailed updates about sleep after this training period :) After two more nights of the being in the hallway, I'm supposed to just leave the room immediately and let him go to sleep. So far, I am so proud of my Collins!

Night 5-Sleep Training

Last night was Jake's turn! He literally dreaded it all day. We had to discuss in detail what he was to do. Jake was expecting Collins to back track and scream a lot.

They rocked about four minutes. Collins wasn't even interested in books. Jake put him down, he wiggled a time or two, and was out. Jake never even got on the floor with him.

He slept all night long.

I'm amazed and will now give copies of Good Night, Sleep Tight as baby shower gifts! What's especially great about this book is that it goes from birth through five years. So there's hope for everyone!

Night 4-Sleep Training

Wow. I'm just amazed. My prediction yesterday about crying more last night was wrong.

Collins protested at me for two minutes last night. Two. Not twenty. Two.

He wiggled around for around five minutes total, then was out like a light. He slept all night long. It was glorious!

I am SO THANKFUL! I'm sure we'll have set backs occasionally, but this is just wonderful. I finally feel like the parent at bedtime! haha

While I was lying on the floor across the room from Collins, I started thinking about how awful it was just three days ago hearing him cry, and how badly I wanted to scoop him up and rescue him. It's never fun to know your child is unhappy, even if it's the best thing in the long run.

And then I thought about how God sent His child to die. On a cross. With and for the sin of all mankind. Because it was the best thing in the long run. And it got better--understatement--in just three days! :)

Wow. So humbling, so amazing, so undeserving. But I'm so grateful.

Night 3-Sleep Training

Guess who slept all night long!!! Everybody!!!

Collins got in his crib at 7:45ish again. I should probably start a little earlier, but this is working for now. It was similar to Night 2...took 22 minutes. I don't think he shed a tear...maybe one or two. He did yell at me though. (That kid has some lungs...surely he'll be able to sing well one day, and if so, I'm taking credit!)

Jake told me this morning that he heard Collins around 1 or 1:30am, and that he told me to go in there. Apparently, I said "okay, okay," but I have no recollection of this. So I guess Collins put himself back to sleep easily!

You may remember that Jake was supposed to be the one to sleep train last night. We'd been talking about taking a casserole of some sort to the Waids sometime this week, and Jake decided to do it last night. ;) I gave him a hard time, but who can be mad at a husband who cooks AND delivers food to friends?

Tonight I'm supposed to move a little farther away, like next to the door. Collins should still be able to see me, but not touch. I predict this will be harder than the last two nights, but maybe not too bad. After seeing such improvement in this short amount of time, I'm sticking with it and doing whatever the book tells me to do! I am so thankful this is working well.

Collins woke up happy again, around 6:30am. Just a talkin' in his crib! He is so precious.

Night 2-Sleep Training

Last night was MUCH better initially! Really, all together. But the initial bed time was the biggest difference.

Collins didn't cry as soon as I put him in his crib. In fact, he just kind of nuzzled down and I thought, "whoa...this is awesome." But he soon figured out what was going on. He stood and we loved on each other for a while. Which, by the way, totally feels like the mama/baby scene on Dumbo that's so sad to me:




Anyway, it only took a few minutes for him to start lying down, and 18 minutes total before falling asleep!! I was so relieved.

He woke up at 3:45am and took about 10 minutes to go back down. I got in bed for about 10 minutes before he was up again...discouraging for me. That's when I started doubting and wondering if he needed something else. Like Tylenol, fresh diaper, etc. I did end up changing him b/c that thing was soaked, but I did so in the crib. I'm planning to look for night time diapers today.

That last time took about 10-15 minutes and about killed me. I think it's harder in the middle of the night because that's usually when he's easier (and sweeter!) to rock. I just loved on him and wanted to scoop him up, but knew that would confuse the heck out of him.

We had to wake up Collins this morning, so at least he's getting some good rest despite the 'trauma'! He was happy again this morning and acts as though he has no recollection of hating me ;) I think we can do this. Jake is supposed to try tonight. I know he's dreading it.

Night 1-Sleep Training

UPDATE TO POST BELOW: After putting Collins down last night, he woke up at 9:30pm (for five minutes) and at 2:30am (for 10 minutes). Not bad! Those times were MUCH better than the first time. I know he'll cry more initially than in the middle of the night, but maybe it will get better. I could definitely tell during that 2:30 time that he is getting the hang of soothing himself. I hate, hate hearing him cry and seeing those little speckles around his sweet eyes in the morning. But I really do believe this is best and is the only way I can handle the tears AND teach him to sleep. If anyone (other than my mom...I know she did!) prayed, thank you!! It worked :)

He's down! That was horrible. But he's down.

I put him in the crib at 7:46 and he was asleep by 8:35. That's only 5 minutes longer than he usually cries when we let him cry himself to sleep.

One thing I learned the first night: to heck with the chair. I was too much on his level while he stood up, which was most of the time. For the first few minutes he didn't cry, just looked at me like I was crazy while I patted the mattress! So I got on the floor.

He cried a lot, obviously. And reached his sweet little hand out for me :( I rubbed him some and talked to him like the book suggests, but I think I'll do less of that tomorrow. It almost engages him too much and I feel badly for touching him, but not picking him up.

Collins tossed paci out twice, but I just tossed it back in. Eventually, he just quieted down and finally laid down in the crib.

It was very hard, but I expected that. I came out to find Jake in the living room about to have a heart attack. He says he can't do this. I say he has to ;)

I predict I'll be doing this again around 1am, but it's okay because I'm confident this system will work. It will be much better for him in the long run. It will be.

Prep

We just got back from a wonderfully relaxing vacation at a place called Chestnut Bay Resort. More on that when pictures are uploaded. This is a post about sleep training.

During vacation, I read the parts of Good Night, Sleep Tight that apply to Collins and us. I am prepared now. I think.

I just got finished rocking him for the last time...potentially. I even cried a tear or two thinking about my little baby. Then my fond memories and flashbacks got interrupted by my child trying to tear off my nose, ears, or jugular vein. He twisted and turned and climbed me like I was Mt. Everest. Could not get comfortable to save his soul, which is part of the reason I know it's time for sleep training. During that 30 minute restless session, he didn't open his eyes once. He wants and needs to go to sleep on his own.

According to Kim West (the author), I'm supposed to have someone other than Jake to hold me accountable and hear all my details. How about it, blog readers?! Better than boring someone at work in case they don't care but are too nice to say so. Y'all can just skip reading. Plus, I'll be ill and sleep deprived and I can sound nicer via text than in person ;)

The plan: Nights 1-3 one of us sits right next to Collins' crib in a chair and only soothes him verbally and through touch...no picking up. This is after we put him to bed "sleepy but not asleep." That's so that he doesn't wake up thinking, "wait a minute...how did I get here?" Makes total sense. Not sure how long he'll cry. I'm dreading this. The following nights we move farther and farther away until eventually (day 10 I think) we are in another room and out of his vision while he cries. Supposedly, he will only cry a few minutes that night. Supposedly. (Maybe I'm still too skeptical to try this??)

If anyone feels like praying for sanity, consistency (the KEY!), and patience, Jake and I would greatly appreciate it! Jake is in there rocking Collins right now. I came out to say I was about to start the "Shuffle" (that's the author's term, "Sleep Lady Shuffle") tonight since Collins couldn't get comfy anyway. But Daddy took over. He must be wanting one last night with a little baby too :)

Maybe blogging about the details will either a) help me go back and identify what I did wrong, or b) make for an extremely explicit testimonial. I sure hope it's the latter!

Good Night, Sleep Tight

Several months ago, I vowed never again to read a book. At least not one related to how to raise or train my child. I think they have a lot of good info, but they made me crazy. I tried the suggestions and then got frustrated when they didn't work.

However...this sleep stuff has got to get worked out.

Last night was perfect. Collins went to sleep at 8pm and slept all night without a peep. I'm convinced he did that b/c he somehow knows I ordered a book online yesterday.

The night before...the Fourth of July night...he went to bed at 7pm (he was soooo tired), but woke up at 8:50pm. And stayed up for about three hours. I thought at first it may have been fire crackers waking him, but even when they stopped he didn't.

Eventually, we let him cry himself to sleep. It broke our hearts b/c it was a slightly different cry, but we were 99% sure there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

I believe it was earlier that day that I had read an article in an old Parents magazine about the "Sleep Lady." Not that it takes much to convince me to try stuff like this (if not for limited funds, I'd buy almost anything on an infomercial), but I kind of have high hopes for Kim West's book, Good Night, Sleep Tight.

Not planning to try it just yet. Might as well read the whole book first so I'm mentally prepared.

If nothing else, I'll be able to report back as to whether this would make a better baby shower gift or compost ingredient.

For the Birds!

This cry-it-out stuff is for the birds. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. At all. Like last night.

Collins woke up around 11:30pm. Jake rocked him, put him down, he cried. We let him cry. For 55 minutes.

Then I rocked him. Never during that 55 minutes did he wear down or get sleepy. I had to rock him for almost an hour because he kept sniffing. It was pitiful.

They say to be consistent or you'll confuse your child. Well, the same thing goes for parents!!

Collins, if you're gonna put yourself to sleep one night, you ought to do the next! We're easily confused when you toy with us like this. ;)

Maybe we'll figure out what the heck we're doing eventually. I think now we'll make 45 minutes the max time since he's never fallen asleep when we've gone longer than that.

Ugh...