Conversations with Collins

It hasn't been quite a month yet, but I have to go ahead and document these...I know Collins will say plenty of hilarious things over Christmas break!

• Asking him about his school Christmas program: What will y'all sing? "Songs!"
• "Do you know Kay-ca?" Who? "Kay-ca! My best friend?!" Oh...Kayla (My cousin, Josh's, girlfriend)
• "You don't let me do anything!"
• "Mommy, I'm hard headed."
• "Mama, I'm gonna ask Daddy about this!" (threat)
• His school has Santa's workshop, where parents send money for the kids to buy presents for their parents. You send whatever amount of cash you want and they return the change to you. I sent $15 and got no change back. Why? Because Collins also bought a gift for himself. I can't really complain; I do the same thing!
• I told him the story of the time I lost (had stolen) my first present from Jake: gold earrings. After I finished, Collins told me a story about when someone stole his gold earrings when he was little. Then "I found them; I put them in my ears; and I was soooo handsome!"
• Refers to his imaginary friends as "My boys"; And blames them for stuff: "Poco did it."
• He likes squashy decorations and I like hard decorations. In case that's not clear, he likes the blow-up stuff.
• "Squeak-rit" (secret)
• "Na na na na, you can't member!"
• Jake told Hadley to hush crying. Collins told Jake, "Daddy, babies do that..."
• I told the nurse that Collins asked Santa for a truck. He said, "Actuwee, I wanna car."
• "What's that awful smell?" (chili)
• "Be patient." (Anytime he's stalling.)
• We have to constantly remind him we're the boss and kids don't make the rules. he says, "Kids DO make the rules!" (spanking)
• "I'm not Ahh goo N." (arguing) (yes he is)
• He commented on a big tree and pondered, "Zacchaeus might be in dare."
• Practicing his Christmas program songs in the car: "Let's sing together, loud!"
• "Mommy, I'm fussawayted!" (frustrated)
• "I'm tellin you what!" (like an old man!)
• Referring to the gates at the football stadium: "That's jail? Paul & Silas in there?"
• After his Christmas program I was holding him to take a picture and I smelled something. I said, "Did you poot?" He said, "When I was on stage I did..."
• Told Jake as he patted his (Jake's) tummy: "That's full of eggs."
• Leaving Breakfast with Santa we were talking to a custodian. As we left Collins said, "She don't got any more teef." And she didn't.
• Pretends to be a plumber. This is from Curious George.
• Watched me change Hadley's poop diaper once and said, "That's my favorite color!" (Wow.)
• One night he was pretending to plant tomatoes and shrimp in his garden.
• Was going to cook a bull one night and instructed Poppa to "put him in the microwave."
• We've been seeing a lot of NFL football games on tv where the field and players are covered in snow. One morning Jake found Collins' football in the crisper drawer of our fridge. He said he was planning to play cold football like on tv!
• "Dirdeen dollars" ($13)
• One morning he just randomly started counting by tens. We were so impressed! He hasn't done it correctly since, but he tries!
• "I see my flection." (reflection)
• "You have to adjust." He hears Jake tells him that in the mornings when the tv is too bright for his eyes :)
• Made a 'spider web' on the toilet with toilet paper...
• "Mommy, put your hair up with this; that might look cute!"
• "Hurts my body" (booty)
• I asked him where he got that bruise on his tummy: "It's a long story."
• "Where's my hot coffee?" (hot chocolate)
• "Honey, honey; let me have a turn." (to me!)
• Loves Hadley's bath time! He helps. And tries to play with any dirty dishes in the other side of the sink.
• Riding in the car he glanced out the window and said, "I see a porcupine! And coconuts! For real."
• I accidentally asked his opinion about my hair. "It's dirty; it's all messed up." And it was.
• He thinks he's lost a tooth, but really he just has a space!